Do You Stand a Chance?

Dating is a very different ball game for men than it is for women. Even though online dating goes a long way to leveling the playing field, it’s my experience that women largely hold the advantage when it comes to time to dip a toe into that pool of potential partners. Sheer numbers are on their side, with the ladies seeming to have a much greater choice among the men than vice versa.

Even The Odds

So how do the guys even the odds to give them the best possible chance of snaring a lovely lady? One thing to remember is that there’s more than a grain of truth to the old saying ‘nice guys finish last’. Now, we’re not saying that you shouldn’t be nice and polite – that’s a given. But there’s a big difference between being nice and being soft and ineffectual – and nothing seems to turn a woman off faster than an ineffectual man.

Women want men who are in control of themselves and their surroundings. They want men who are sure of themselves, who know want they want and know how to get it. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that means you should be all macho and butch – that’s usually a major turn-off too. It’s entirely possible to be completely at ease and in charge of yourself without appearing arrogant or conceited. In fact, a man who truly has a strong sense of himself will also have a deep and healthy respect for others, and that is exactly what women will pick up on.

Women also like a challenge. They don’t want to be immediately thrust on to a pedestal and blindly worshipped and waited on hand and foot. That kind of behaviour just makes you appear weak in their eyes. It’s much better to keep something in reserve, and give the object of your attention a reason to keep coming back.

Building Your Strategy

Use the onion principle: reveal yourself in layers rather than putting it all out there at once – it creates a sense of mystery and allows the woman to fully engage her thoughts and emotions into finding out more about you.

It’s really important to strike a balance in how you interact with a women you are interested in. When you are with them, give them all of your attention. Listen carefully to what they have to say and don’t feel compelled to give advice or tell them what to do. Women don’t expect you to solve their problems – they just want to know that you are hearing them.

Common Pitfalls

When you are not with a women, don’t give in to the urge to contact them all the time – no matter how much you like them. Constantly calling or texting just makes you appear desperate and lonely. By all means give them a thank you text or call after a date – that shows you care – but otherwise be reasonably sparing in your contacts. This helps to heighten her anticipation for your next meeting and keeps her interest level high. It’s a fine line though – be too remote and you may lose her altogether, so play it carefully.

Like anything worthwhile in life, dating and building new relationships requires effort and close attention. Go into in half-heartedly and you’ll only get diluted results.

Dave Steffens is an active website admin who runs www.datingonlinecanada.ca. Dave writes article content and blogs for several websites on free dating sites in Canada, free dating online and singles dating advice.

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