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Issues With Your Boyfriend or Husband

/ November 15, 2011 / Issues With Your Man /0 Comments

Why You May Not Be Getting Anywhere With Him – Are You Guilty Of Using These Unproductive Issue Solving Tactics?

Issues With Your Boyfriend or HusbandHusband problems and boyfriend issues can revolve around the same thing – frustration with your man, and possibly his frustration with you.

Fighting and feeling as though he just doesn’t get it is a way of life for many women nowadays.

There are about 2 million divorces every year, and that doesn’t include people who are not ‘legally married’, which makes you wonder how many people are making good use of the resources they have to help their relationships thrive, and how many people are not looking for relationship help at all, but instead sitting back hoping everything will get better. Which it obviously doesn’t.

If your relationship has lost it’s loving feeling, and you can’t seem to get it back on track, then the way you are trying to fix the relationship is not working for you. Period.

What you feel, or think, should be working to resolve the issues is not working, and you need a new plan of attack in regards to your relationship issues.

Us women tend to try a few different techniques to get our man to shape up the way we want them to. Including:

  • Making him feel guilty
  • Ignoring him
  • Withholding pleasure for him
  • Making him feel bad about himself
  • Yelling and screaming
  • Crying until he succumbs

And when all that fails we try to ‘give up’ and conform to what he wants for a while, only to start all those above tactics again.

Using guilt or making someone feel bad is not solving an issue. In fact, it may just be adding more issues onto the wagon. It may also be leading you in a circle of never-ending issues – that can be hard to escape (Except for in the form of breakup or divorce)

If you want out of the circle of issues then you have to go about the way you deal with them a different way. A way that is going to, once and for all, fix the issue and allow you to move on.

There is one crucial way to fix a relationship and that’s with honest communication and actual understanding. Throw some patience in there and you have a real plan.

Remember though that it takes two to cause an issue, and it takes two to fix it as well.

I’ve seen many women who have an issue with their man and put all the blame on the man not ‘getting it’, but the truth is it takes both of you to fix the issue.

Of course, if he doesn’t want to put any effort into it, then it may not be worth the time. If he’s not willing to try, then he’s not going to change. And you can’t expect him to magically change one day when he wakes up.

He has to be a participant in making the relationship work as well. He has to care enough to try. If approached the right way, most men will acknowledge that they want the relationship to succeed as well.

It all starts with proper communication. That means no yelling, blaming, or any other tactic that you normally use. I’m talking about real communication that is full of honesty and real listening.

You also need to accept that the two of you think differently and ARE different people. Once you understand that changing someone to be exactly the way you want them to be is not plausible you will start to feel better about that person and their uniqueness.

So start right now. Find a different way of going about solving issues. Don’t live a lifetime of regret wishing you could have done more to save your relationship. Do something now! Get the relationship help you need!

Like I was saying, so many couples break up over issues that could have been resolved if they had only opened the lines of communication and worked towards a solution. Some couples couldn’t work towards a solution, and some wanted to, but didn’t know how.

Amy Waterman has put together a course, save my marriage today, that helps couples, both young and old, repair their relationship problems and re ignite the spark that once existed before it is too late. Its quite normal for a marriage to go through cycles, and arguments will happen from time to time. Its how you deal with those arguments and disagreements that dictates the health of your relationship.

In her course she talks about the right way to bring up issues, and deal with them, in a manner that respects both people in the relationship – and provides a solution that is free of stress, pain, and emotional trauma.

Some of the topics she discusses are:

  • Tips on how to rescue your marriage
  • How to bring passion back into the relationship
  • How to fix your relationship after an affair has occured
  • Self assessment
  • Gestures that are more important than words
  • And much more………..

Bottom line: If you want to save your marriage then this course can help you. Click here to learn more.

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3 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend May Be Drifting Away From Your Relationship

/ November 15, 2011 / Issues With Your Man /0 Comments

What The Heck is Going on With Him?

3 Reasons Your Boyfriend is Drifting Away
3 Reasons Your Boyfriend is Drifting Away

Men have a harder time expressing their emotions than women do. This results in them not expressing their concerns and issues that they are having in the relationship, which ultimately results in them pulling away because those issues never get fixed.

The truth is you may have to be able to decipher what is wrong for them to actually talk about it. Whether they don’t want to hurt your feelings or whether they just don’t think the problem is fixable, they may never open up about it unless you figure it out for yourself and help them fix the problem.

Here are a few things that may be wrong with your boyfriend, and solutions for those issues.

1. The commitment level is scaring him.

If you have been doing things like meeting the parents or spending holidays together or anything else that really solidifies you as a couple, then this may be the case.

Moving up on the commitment ladder may make him feel scared and pressured about where the relationship is going. It doesn’t mean he wants the relationship to end, but it does mean that he doesn’t want to make the final decision about a life-time commitment just yet. He may start to avoid activities that he feels will move you even further up the commitment ladder and instead try to make his case by keeping things the way they are or even backing away a bit.

If you think this may be him then try bringing up things that suggest the relationship is perfect where it is and don’t add pressure to a life-time commitment – just yet. Assure him that there is no pressure and you are enjoying the relationship right now and right here without concern about the future. He should start to feel less pressure and start to move back to the relationship.

2. He’s trying to avoid an upcoming event.

If he seems to clam up about certain things then he may be avoiding the topic at hand. If he pulls away at certain times then he may be avoiding the anticipated event. Maybe you haven’t had sex yet and he’s scared of how well he will perform when you do finally decide to have it, so he starts to back away so the event doesn’t even have to happen. Or maybe he doesn’t want you to meet his crazy mother, so he starts to avoid conversation about his family so he doesn’t have to invite you for the next holiday that she wants to meet you at. Avoidance is his way of not dealing with it, even if it means growing apart from you.

If you sense that this is what he is doing then let him know that you care about him no matter what. Assure him that he is perfect just the way he is, even if he has obvious faults, and allow him to be himself. This will show him that you think good about him no matter what and he may be more inclined to do those things he is worried about, knowing that your opinion of him is so high.

3. He’s debating whether the relationship is for him or not.

Maybe there is not an obvious reason for him to pull away. This could be because he is not sure if he wants to be in the relationship anymore. Of course he will not want to talk to you about this because it would hurt you feelings and possibly start a fight which will end the relationship entirely which is not what he wants.

Do not smother him with questions about what is wrong at this point because you may push him away completely. As long as he is not mistreating you, give him a little space and be the positive and happy person you know you are, and let him see how much he would be missing if he left the relationship.

If you want to get your relationship back on track then you will want to read Relationship Recovery. Changing the relationship dynamics means changing how you think. Relationship recovery can help you do just that!

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