Does She Even Know What a Virgin Is?
If I told you that you were going to an event that had dinner, a dance, and a commitment ceremony – what would you think? Wouldn’t you believe you were going to a wedding of some sort? Well, there would be a promise made during the event, but it wouldn’t be to the guy or girl you are going to marry. It would be to your father!
Purity balls are a ceremony where young girls pledge their virginity to their father until marriage (I personally think there must be another way to say it!) but the point is that they have made a specific choice when it comes to pre-marital sex, and they promise to be virgins until marriage.
The girls get dressed up in gorgeous dressed, the fathers wear their best tuxedo, and they have an evening full of promises and exciting outlooks on the future. The daughters pledge to remain a virgin until marriage and the fathers pledge to protect their daughter’s purity.
It kind of gives even more meaning to handing your daughter over during a marriage ceremony after you’ve attended a purity ball with her. You have not only been protecting her from men in your own mind, but she has witnessed your pledge for you to do so in the purity ball. You are literally handing over your pledge to her husband.
Originating in Evangelical Christian communities, the purity ball was resurrected around 1998. It has not been a small thing since then. There have been thousands of purity balls across the United States. Miley Cyrus and Jordan sparks are just a few of the celebrity names that have been a part of this movement.
The Upside of Making a Pledge to be a Virgin
Pledging to be a virgin until marriage may cause the girls to have an easier time saying no if they are ever faced with a situation where they have a choice. Because of this virginity pledge they have taken, the promise may overshadow the hormones.
Most teenagers are faced with the choice of whether or not to have sex, but most girls have not attended a purity ball. Choices are made based on whether or not she feels right about the situation, how much pressure she feels to have sex, and whether or not she views sex as a bad thing or a good thing. Based on the uniqueness of the girl – some choose to have sex and some do not, but there is hardly ever an easy answer. Until the purity ball girl comes along!
If you have made a pledge to stay a virgin then you may have a much easier time to choice the ‘no sex’ option. With promises comes moral obligation. When faced with a choice that goes against your moral obligation you would feel tons of guilt towards the option of having sex. This guilt may allow the girl to easily choose the ‘no sex’ option.
Another bonus of pledging to be a virgin until marriage in front of your dad is the bond it creates with him. I mean, your dad is promising to protect you until marriage, and not only is he making the pledge, but he also brought you to a purity ball to prove how much he cares about you and your choices in life. This should let any girl know how much her dad really cares about her, and that’s something every girl wants in her life.
The Downside of Making a Pledge to be a Virgin
When you make such a big deal out of something it gets put on a pedestal. So after a purity ball and the pledge has been taken to be a virgin until marriage a girl may always be thinking about sex because it has been such a huge part of her life – already. Even though she hasn’t had sex…it’s been one of the most focused on points of her life. I mean she attended a purity ball where she got dressed up and had a night to remember.
Sex should not be the focus on any girl’s life. While she should be thinking about grades and what movie to watch, she could instead be focused on staying pure. Because there is so much thought put into it she could start to have a warped view of sex and view it as a bad thing that must be avoided at all costs. Her friends say one thing, the media says another, and her father and the pledge she took makes a huge stand against sex. Sex could become a focal point in her life that she bases all other decisions on.
For example, she may avoid boys because she feels as though they are tempting her. This could cause her to not have a boyfriend throughout her teenage years which could cause her to become socially awkward with men later on. This in turn could affect her confidence level and she may stay a virgin until her 30′s, 40′s or longer because she has such a hard time around men.
The pledge could also affect her sex life once she does get married. Sex has been put on a pedestal in her life and when she does get married her sex life could become extreme in one way or the other. She may become terrified of sex and avoid it with her new husband, or because sex has been a no-no for so long she may want sex so often that she becomes obsessed with it.
I watched a show not long ago where two virgins were getting married. The husband was terrified of sex. He even flinched when she kissed him! The wife was obsessed about the night in question. She brought it up tons of times before, during, and after the wedding. She could think about nothing else. How great do you think their sex life is now? I’m willing to be it sucks pretty badly and has affected many other areas of their marriage!
It All Comes Down To the Individual
I think there are many other good and bad things about attending a purity ball – maybe even book length worthy. Obviously the choice to be a virgin until marriage will affect everyone differently. Some girls will become socially awkward while others will be just fine socially. Some girls will avoid love because they are terrified of sex while other girls will jump at the chance to fall in love.
I think the important thing is for the father to not make it a huge deal. Sex is natural and a part of any healthy relationship, and he shouldn’t create fear with sex for his daughter. Scaring her into being a virgin is wrong, while supporting her decision to be a virgin is just being a good dad.
What do you think? Share your opinions in the comments below!
Related Posts:
and get your create juices flowing!