How To Find Love – The Kind You Really Want!
This is probably you. You want to find love, real love. Someone who treats you really good, understands you, and falls more in love with you every day, and vice-versa.
When you want to find love in a bad way you can make a few mistakes though. You can become desperate to find love and start taking anyone who comes along! This is not a one-time thing either!
When you really want to find love you often start to NEED it. You want it for so bad and for so long that it starts to become something you feel you need to the very core.
Why Needing to Find Love is a Bad Thing
Normally our needs are met very easily. We need butter; we go to the store and get it. We need a new refrigerator; we go the store and get it. We can normally satisfy our needs quickly and easily. But when it comes to finding love that need is not something that we can control so easily! And thus our need for love turns into desperation for love, almost as if love is being withheld from us and we can’t do anything to change that.
This is why you have to stop needing to find love so much if you want to find love that is truly going to make you happy! If you need it to the point of being desperate then you are going to take any old loser that comes your way and try to conform them into what you want. You trick yourself into thinking that you have found this perfect love that you have needed for so long, but in fact it’s normally quite the opposite. Then when you break-up you want to find love again – and the cycle continues until you finally surrender and let the need go.
I know this personally, as I think most people do! I needed to find love so bad that I dated many guys that I thought could give me that love. I normally got into the relationship too fast and didn’t actually get to know them to see if they were really what I wanted. This always resulted in find a jerk instead of finding love.
How To Find Love – The Right Way
It wasn’t until I stopped needing to find love that I actually found a guy who was perfect for me. When the desperation was gone I was able to see what real love was all about and I was also able to see the qualities I wanted in a guy much clearer – and I was also able to wait for them!
So if you want to find love and you feel a sense of desperation attached to that feeling then stop! Start believing that love will find you and stop seeking it out every day. Once you do this you will be surprised at how quickly love will show up – just keep your eyes open!
The Law of Attraction and Finding Love
Just as a quick side note: If you believe in the law of attraction then you will understand that being desperate for love will never get you the love you are looking for.
The law of attraction says that you attract what you are focusing on. When you are desperate for love you are focusing on the fact that you haven’t found love or that you are not able to find love. You are focusing on the lack of love in your life. THAT is what you are attracting to you! The lack of love!
So if you are saying things like “I never find someone decent!” or “I have such a hard time finding someone!” or anything else that is negative then you are going to keep getting more of that in your life.
Try saying “Love is coming to me!” or “My perfect match is right around the corner!” and you will be aligning yourself to attract love to yourself in a better way.
Even if you don’t believe in the law of attraction – it’s worth a try. I mean you do want to find love right? I just gave you a really good way on how to find love and it’s worth a shot. Trying being positive about finding love.
- If you are serious about transforming your attraction to the opposite sex, then I recommend checking out the Ultimate Attraction Transformation Series by Meet Your Sweet. You will learn what it really takes to be your best self possible and you will go through an attraction makeover – ready for love on the other side!
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Your words are well intended but Im 50 yrs old am STILL ALONE and yes I am very desperate,very god damn desperate!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any idea it is for me to attend family gathering with my older siblings who are all married and now their grown children are either married or in a relationship.Arriving alone at a gathering makes me feel awful and worthless. None of them understands how lonely I feel inside.or they make a remark.”your better off being alone”THAT IS FUCKING EASY FOR THEM TO SAY WHEN THEY BEEN MARRIED,IN SOME CASES OVER 30 AND 40 YEARS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I get so fucking sick of hearing married friends and co-workers say “Love will find you when you least expect it”. Whoever invented that saying should be fucking taken out and shot for its nothing but ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!
As you can tell by the tone of this e-mail I at my wits end.I sad,lonely and full of hopelessness and despair and fear I forever be alone.At times I just wish I had never been born at all.
well, Doug, perhaps you took it too seriously, i am 30 now and i’ve thought that alone is doom! there are many interesting things out there, why you dont just enjoy them instead of sitting here and swearing like a trooper? when you can do that, you will find life is not that difficult being alone (ah but i should emphasis this word, ALONE not LONELY!)
Anyway, i agree with Bellaisa. I still believe in a true love and i will wait for it, however long it is.
Well said Alex!
Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely! Happiness and satisfaction in your life doesn’t start when someone else comes into it – it starts with you. If you are not happy then nobody else will ever be able to make you happy.
Bellaisa recently posted..Socializing on Social Sites and Searching For Love
Doug,
I can literally feel your emotions in your words, and I’m sorry you feel so bad.
I really do believe that letting go from your desperation would bring someone to you, but that’s just my belief from my experiences and observations. That doesn’t mean you should stop looking for love, it just means you shouldn’t be desperate to find love. (But listen I do understand where you are coming from and how it is to stop being desperate.) I feel you there. Easier said than done right? But it’s up to you to do it. Try turning desperation into excitement or anticipation.
And you may hate me for saying this, but love is all around you – you have family, you have friends, you have co-workers…while they are not the type of love you are looking for you still can appreciate their love for you and their good intentions.
In any case, I can tell you are a smart, witty guy just from your comment so I know the world is a better place for having you in it, and I know that there is some woman out there who wants to be with you and love you.
Wishing you all the best Doug,
Bellaisa
Bellaisa recently posted..Have a Happy Relationship
I love the article, it is so true! To have what you want in life you must allow it to flow in your life; if one has a mind set of desperation and always looking so hard for it than most likely you will miss signs in one own’s life that would have revealed you the path to the possible person. With a combination of a positive outlook, loving one self and having belief of knowing what you want in a particular mate; the path will be revealed and the opportunity will arise to meet your perfect mate. I know this to be true because it happened to myself and 8 years later I am still married to the beautiful woman that I love to this very day as much as I did the first day that I met her. Thank you for such an inspiring article.
Saverio
Well said! Desperation can cause you to miss signs that point to the love of your life.
I know I dated a few losers while the love of my life was just sitting there waiting for me – but as soon as I let go I realized that love had been in front of me all along!
Bellaisa recently posted..A Successful Date Depends on Successful Chemistry