Failed relationships can be devastating. Most people spend months and sometimes years wondering what exactly went wrong and if there is anything they could have done to save the relationship. While not all relationships can be saved, there are some definite relationship killers that all happy couples should avoid like the plague.
Dishonesty
Dishonesty destroys trust within relationships regardless of whether the liar gets caught or not. Like the old adage goes, no one is more suspicious than a liar. Studies show that 80% of all married people within the United States lie about money. It’s no wonder that 50% of these marriages end in divorce. If you want to save your relationship, learn since the beginning of the relationship how to tell the truth.
Controlling Behavior or Jealousy
The fear of losing a partner is the leading cause of jealousy and controlling behavior in relationships. Jealousy manifests itself as anger, blame and judgment and with time, the partner who is being controlled becomes resentful of the controlling partner. This inevitably causes the relationship to come to an end. If you are afraid of losing your partner or having your partner taken away from you, you need to find out where that fear is coming from and deal with it before it destroys your relationship.
Addictions
Nothing ends relationships faster than substance and process addictions. Addictions can be quite diverse including drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, porn, sex and work. People use addictions as a way to deal with the pain in their lives or to fill a void within their lives. The only way to keep addictions from destroying your relationship is to actually deal with the pain and emptiness instead of trying to cover it up.
Needy Behavior
If you believe that your partner is your world, then sooner or later you are going to display needy behavior. Just like the people who suffer from substance addictions, clingy people believe that their partners will fill the void and emptiness within their lives. Needy people expect their partners to make them happy and when that doesn’t happen, they become resentful towards them. In order to avoid being needy and clingy, one must take responsibility for his or her own happiness and quit constantly demanding attention from his or her partner.
Selfishness
Relationships can only last long if the needs of the two individuals within the relationship are being met. This means that if one of the individuals is selfish and is entirely focused on themselves, the relationship will come to an end, sooner or later. Granted, pushing our wants aside for someone else’s sake isn’t always fun but it is a price we have to pay if we want to be in a relationship.
Many of the above mentioned relationship killers are brought about by fear. Such fear and concern most of the time arises from our past relationships. If you want a long lasting relationship, you need to take responsibility for your feelings and needs. If you need to see a therapist or counselor so as to deal with some of the issues from your past, don’t hesitate to do it.
About the Author:
Ashley Nelson enjoys giving relationship advice to couples so that their relationships can last long and their dreams of a beautiful garden wedding complete with garden wedding favors can come true.
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I’ve had my share of relationships that consisted of addictions – on my partners side. Because addictions normally come with lying, betrayal, and fights it’s an ugly part of any relationship.
Not to mention the confusion that you feel when you know there is something wrong with your partner and they will not admit it. Addicts are the best talkers in the world, and they can mess with your mind like no one else can.
Thanks for sharing this Ashley!
Bellaisa
Bellaisa recently posted..A Successful Date Depends on Successful Chemistry
The point is so true! Being with a person with poor self esteem can really put strain in the relationship. Each partner has to love themselves, be happy and comfortable with their own identity before they can have a partner love them in return. If a person does not love themselves but in turn believe that loving their partner will make them whole; this will only cause frustration and resentment in the partnership because they will be deluding themselves and will be disappointed. It is not up to the other partner to make a person feel whole; if one is loving and giving to themselves as well as their mate this is what will be returned to them as it is part of the law of magnetism, the energy and effort you put out will come back to you.
SG
Saverio Giuseppe recently posted..Sticking to your financial guns!
I totally agree! So many people expect their partner to make them feel good when in actuality the only person that can make them feel good is themselves.
Thanks for sharing your viewpoint – it’s a great one!
Bellaisa
Bellaisa recently posted..Looking For Love
i’ve killed mine with selfishness, still regret that..
Swapnil recently posted..10 Cool Windows Shortcuts You Need to Know
I think we have all been there in some way…in some relationship.
Thanks for commenting.
Bellaisa recently posted..Does He Like Me? Some Signs That He Does!